At least ...

I believe ...

Some hurtful words are "at least." Forgive me for getting so serious, but this has been on my mind for some time. This is not to blame or accuse, it's merely meant to alert you or make you more cognizant of your speech.

When we lost our grandchild to SIDS a few years ago, I remember the "at least" statements that were meant to be kind and helpful, but were actually deep cuts.

At least he wasn't handicapped, at least he died before you really knew him, at least he wasn't 21 years old, at least he died peacefully, at least, at least, at least ....

A friend recently was going through a hard time and I heard many "at least's" from well meaning friends. I was reminded of my "at least's" when I heard this and wondered if they hurt him as much too?

Why do we do this? Why can't we truly just focus on the grief or loss of others and allow them to properly grieve and get it behind them as much as they can in their own way?

Next time a friend says "I've lost my job", please don't reply with "at least ...".
Next time a friend says "I've got cancer", please don't reply with "at least ..."

Remember Job's friends in the Bible? They were of great comfort, until they spoke.